Thou shalt not commit adultery. And thou also shalt not use Facebook.
Some people think it's dangerous for married couples not to have this full disclosure and full access to each other's online business. Others just haven't given it that much thought beyond the fact that husbands usually aren't remotely interested in most of what their spouses do online.
Perhaps spouses who share e-mail accounts don't actually read each other's e-mail but only read what they assume is intended for them, but the idea behind sharing your e-mail account is that theoretically you could read each other's e-mail, so if one of you is getting e-mail from an ex-lover or something, at least the other is aware of it. Likely if you were inclined to carry on with an ex-lover, you would do that secretly anyway, not with your joint e-mail and/or Facebook account!
The Rev. Cedric Miller said 20 couples among the 1,100 members of his New Jersey Living Word Christian Fellowship Church have run into marital trouble over the past six months after a spouse connected with an ex-flame over Facebook. So he asked leaders in his congregation to disable their Facebook accounts.
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or been faced with evidence of infidelity plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites in divorce cases over the past five years.
About 1 in 5 adults use Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. And a do-it-yourself divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported late last year that the word "Facebook" was appearing in about 1 in 5 of the petitions it was handling.
Trust is an issue all through the relationship - it does not just start during the marriage - so watch for the warning signs. If trust is present in your marriage - snooping is a BAD idea because it shows you do not trust your spouse. Though tempting, resist the urge to check his cell phone or email accounts for signs of adultery.
Asking your spouse to share their lives and Facebook accounts with you is a good idea. It can be fun way to share your wonderful, happy and sometime chaotic life with friends and other family members. It's a great way for the two of you to bond and stay connected.
Full disclosure can lead to deeper trust, so you know what each other is doing online. Some couples prefer separate accounts because they like to give each other space. Or rather, they each like to have their own space and therefore allow the other their space.
If your spouse says no when you ask to share their Facebook accounts, be concerned but don't snoop - it destroys any remnants of trust.
Get an outside third party's help to solve the issue if your spouse won't show you their Facebook account and that bothers you and you cannot let it go. Get the help of a professional, such as a Relationship Expert, if you suspect cheating or infidelity has infiltrated your marriage.
Marriage or a committed relationship means that you are a couple. If he said "I do" to you and is now spending more time with his buddies and exes on Facebook, call or email me and together we can work on helping him understand that something is missing from your relationship and how you can work together to repair it.
Trying to handle a relationship issue yourself usually leads to fights and irreconcilable differences. Call, email or text a counselor or Relationship Expert for resolutions that will make you both happy.
Dr. Dar invites you to visit her website http://www.RelationshipSuccessExpert.com to claim your free gift: Attracting Love for Singles who want to find true love or Being in Love for Couples who want to deepen their love, improve their relationship, or get married.
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